Will people always come and go....

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Will people always come and go....

Post by Purplemoon86 on Wed Feb 28, 2018 4:17 pm

Been reflecting a lot lately - and find it sad how at one point a person who i done everything with and was my best friend, now hardly talks to me , since i moved ( still in same town and changed jobs so no longer work together) i will get odd text every now and again arrange to meet, but then she always find so excuse not to meet,

She came into my life, when i was at quiet a low, and helped me in many ways, we told each other everything, i thought we would be friends forever, but i guess for her because i don't live close or work with her anymore, she feels not to make an effort, so i question was she ever really a true friend at all?

All my life people have come and gone, would be nice if a few would stay Crying or Very sad
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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Cloud on Wed Feb 28, 2018 10:42 pm

Purplemoon86 wrote:Been reflecting a lot lately - and find it sad how at one point a person who i done everything with and was my best friend, now hardly talks to me , since i moved ( still in same town and changed jobs so no longer work together) i will get odd text every now and again arrange to meet, but then she always find so excuse not to meet,

She came into my life, when i was at quiet a low, and helped me in many ways, we told each other everything, i thought we would be friends forever, but i guess for her because i don't live close or work with her anymore, she feels not to make an effort, so i question was she ever really a true friend at all?

All my life people have come and gone, would be nice if a few would stay Crying or Very sad


hugs purplemoon

I understand where you're coming from , i'm sorry

It's tough, there's no denying that... someone who you consider a very close friend just 1 year later can be so distant and that's really hard to come to grips with when it's someone who we really thought the world of

Considering you are still in the same town I understand why you'd be upset, I would too. If she had moved to another country you would be able to understand it a bit better but with her being close that's got to be hard

Have you tried talking to her about how upset you are that she's distancing herself?
Again it's hard also being intuitive and knowing reasons for not meeting are excuses vs genuine reasons

I'd try calling her.. if you give this one more shot, I just think calling her directly might help
There could be a few reasons, they may not be connected to you , but i'd confront her and ask her why she keeps cancelling & just remind her that you think a lot of her and want to stay in touch?

Above all I can see why you were questioning whether  she was a true friend after all, I would be too in your situation.
If this does break off and she does fully cut off just know that whilst it's going to be really hard there will be other friends to come who will think the world of you and will give back 100%. Grieving an ended friendship isn't easy especially when you've travelled  a long way with this person and they know so much / been with you through a lot

If you do reach out try calling. I just feel on Facebook and Text messages people find it easier to worm their way out of things, make sense?

Take care of yourself & let us know how things go?

Cloud
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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Purplemoon86 on Thu Mar 01, 2018 6:27 am

Thank you Cloud! x

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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Purplemoon86 on Fri Mar 02, 2018 11:53 am

Well i sent her a message, saying can i ring.. and she said busy right now, so i sent her a texting telling her how i felt,

and she said we are good friends we don't need to live in each other's pockets, which is a joke as I've  not seen her in person for 5 months, in total since i left our place of work almost a year ago ( we have seen each other 3 times)  like i said before we done everything together prior to that...

I'm not putting any more time and effort into it, she knows me as a person and knows i value friendships ,  thing is, my life has changed a lot in last year, took a completely different career path to her, and her life has stayed the same, even them 3 times we met up i did find it a little tense at times, as she would just bang on about her work, and not even ask how i'm getting on. I'd just rather she be honest then just push me away.

I do feel sad about it, but i guess i need to look at the positives she did help me with many things and i'll always be grateful for that.
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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Cloud on Fri Mar 02, 2018 2:08 pm

Hugs Purplemoon

It is a bit of a joke and if anything sounds as though you are the one doing all the giving, all the caring, all the reaching out and you're right, there's only so much you can do.......

5 months is a long time... wow. Living in each other's pockets? ... to me it sounds like it's not as important to her, god, i'm sorry

Of course you feel sad about it, I understand hugs
I agree with you, I would also rather someone be honest than try hint or just disappear or stonewall.... I'm sorry.....

You seem lovely and you know, maybe it's for the best...In the long run that is...

I'm betting you later down the line she will want to know you again, when work drags her down, her other friends leave her or move on, and she begins reminiscing and missing something you offered her. (Ouch) for now, it's notgoing to be easy but you are doing great, new job fresh start, friends will come, decent ones, who'll love you back and care for you too, and trust me you'll have so many coffee dates you'll need to book appointments lol!

It will be fine I promise.. you did the best thing and it sounds like she's made her feelings clear, directly or not... this friendship is 90% and 10% right now. Her loss..... freedom

take good care of yourself

hugs


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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Purplemoon86 on Fri Mar 02, 2018 2:19 pm

Cloud wrote:Hugs Purplemoon

It is a bit of a joke and if anything sounds as though you are the one doing all the giving, all the caring, all the reaching out and you're right, there's only so much you can do.......

5 months is a long time... wow. Living in each other's pockets? ... to me it sounds like it's not as important to her, god, i'm sorry

Of course you feel sad about it, I understand hugs
I agree with you, I would also rather someone be honest than try hint or just disappear or stonewall.... I'm sorry.....

You seem lovely and you know, maybe it's for the best...In the long run that is...

I'm betting you later down the line she will want to know you again, when work drags her down, her other friends leave her or move on, and she begins reminiscing and missing something you offered her. (Ouch) for now, it's notgoing to be easy but you are doing great, new job fresh start, friends will come, decent ones, who'll love you back and care for you too, and trust me you'll have so many coffee dates you'll need to book appointments lol!

It will be fine I promise.. you did the best thing and it sounds like she's made her feelings clear, directly or not... this friendship is 90% and 10% right now. Her loss..... freedom

take good care of yourself

hugs


Cloud


Thank you Cloud! sometimes i think its me.... i have friends in my life but the ones i really cherish always seem to go, maybe i expect too much X
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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Cloud on Fri Mar 02, 2018 2:34 pm

I don't think you expect too much purplemoon...I think what you are asking in return is beyond fair... it's ok to want someone to give back and care just as much as you give them..... you're not the problem here , I promise
hugs2

it's not much to ask for. She needs to count herself lucky that she has people who care to meet up with her and stay friends.. I can tell you really cared about her and wanted the best for her, she's taken it all for granted if you ask me.... she will regret it in the long run


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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Purplemoon86 on Mon Apr 09, 2018 4:46 pm

well its been ages since she messaged me, and i randomly got a message today, saying hi it's been a long time Sad hows you?

a part of me does not want to reply, but a part of me does..

no idea what i should do, as was just starting to accept fact she had gone
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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Cloud on Mon Apr 09, 2018 5:24 pm

hugs purplemoon

I'm not sure .... I think sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. She's probably feeling guilty and/or starting to notice that life really isn't the same without you/that she mistreated you by blanking you all this time

I'd give it a day, if you do reply , give it a day or so... hugs
I don't think there's any right option, I've just learned not to expect anything, so don't be surprised if she does it again... hopefully not, hopefully she will appreciate you for the decent friend you are and (have been) all this time. I really hope so. Either way, you know you tried ... and you went the extra mile for her, if she can't give back all the time and effort may be time to let her know you are moving on?


hugs just a few thoughts
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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Purplemoon86 on Mon Apr 09, 2018 5:28 pm

Thank you Cloud - wise words X
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Re: Will people always come and go....

Post by Purplemoon86 on Sun Apr 29, 2018 11:19 am

So after she messaged me, she left It couple more weeks to reply back to the last thing I messaged her, anyway she sent me a text yesterday saying do I want to meet for a coffee tomorrow, which I said yes.. but why do i still sense there will be tension, my other friend said i'm looking too much into it and our lives our different now, I should not expect too much from her anymore, but its hard when you were so close to hardly anything!
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