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Post by astraldreamer on Sun Jun 30, 2019 12:26 pm

hi I had a big arguement with my neighbours yesterday.
I tried to diffuse the situation by locking my door and locking back door.

I do not like confrontation. I do not like anger and aggression but I also know I have a very low tolerance to being shouted at or my door being knocked loudly

it triggers flashbacks from my past and I just cant deal with it.


but my neighbour wouldn't stop so eventually I opened the door and she hit me with verbal abuse and all hell broke loose.

we have a on going feud about my cats going in her garden which has been going on for the 2 months since they moved in but it has never been aggressive.

the day before yesterday I was in my garden trying to get my cat to get out of their garden as he was sat on the neighbours blanket which was on the ground.

I hear the neighbours back door unlock and my cat ran as fast as possible back into his own garden.

they scare my cats so much that he knows to run asap.

so my cat had already left her garden even before her door opened.

anyway she started to hiss, clap and picked up some stones and chucked them at my cat which was in my garden so u said to her dont do that to my cat.

she point blank ignored me and carried on so u sat there with my daughter just saying how rude she was and then she began to spit and mutter some words in a different language.

anyway later on my dad tried to knock on their door to explain that the cats have been using that garden for years. and that it's ok for them to shoo them out if they refuse to move

but that they cant do anything to my cats once they have left their garden.

rightly so she said she didn't want the cats on her babies things that a good point but seriously how am I meant to explain that to my cat.

he also tried to explain that cats dont just move when u call them. so unless I climb over the fence each time I notice him in there what am I supposed to do.

she slammed the door in my dad's face.

anyway yesterday evening my two daughters and their friend were playing with water balloons. they said it was a accident but the neighbours didn't think so and accused the girls of wetting the baby sswing in the back garden.

also a water balloon hit a window at the front of the house.

they went crying to their neighbour right after banging off my door and shouting.

the other neighbour came to try and diffuse and said it didnt look like a accident.
I tried to explain that all three of these children are disabled.

she cut in before I finished to say that they are not that disabled that they dont know right from wrong.

what I was trying to explain if she had listened is that they are sometimes oblivious to what is going on around them. they also have poor co ordination so it really could have been a accident and even if it

wasnt u dont get the best out of me banging my door like that. why not just knock and say the kids have been throwing balloons at my house. why all the aggression.

anyway I got the kids to apologise regardless but as they were trying to throw woman was there shouting at them and calling them liars.

so in the end I thought fck this and got everyone inside.

I believe that it was a accident. the neighbours have been complaining about the cats for 2 months. the girls play with water balloons every weekend and this has never happened before.

this triggered off a huge anxiety attack. I've not slept all night. just waiting for them to kick my door off.
I'm worried they are going to kill my cats

and I dont feel like I can leave my house as all the other people on the street were out listening to our arguement.

I'm trying to stop myself from googling how to secretly annoy the neighbours as I want to be the bigger person and just be civil. but I feel angry as well as upset and not safe.

but I dont know how to. theres a big language barrier also. I think the nan only speaks a few words of English but the daughter can speak quite a bit but is extremely rude.

does anyone have any suggestions pls x

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Post by Renaud on Mon Jul 01, 2019 8:33 pm

Hmm,true

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Post by Renaud on Mon Jul 01, 2019 8:34 pm

I can't really help but give you hugs....
People have lost a lot of skills ....being compassionate or polite are definitely the ones

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Post by astraldreamer on Mon Jul 01, 2019 8:59 pm

thank you Renaud. thankfully I have calmed down a lot now and not so anxious x

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Post by Peace2all on Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:34 am

I would try to keep the cats inside and have them to go potty in their litter place at home for a while so the neighbor doesn’t see them as often anymore. If her blood boils every time she sees them maybe a break from that will calm down her anger a bit .. cause obviously she needs to learn how to manage that.
I think your kittens will be fine for some period of time without going to the garden.

Perhaps write her a letter that you are not doing something intentionally to damage her whatsoever and that you are trying your best to keep the cats from trespassing so you are working towards stopping their habit by having them inside for a while.

I think she will read the letter and be somehow more receptive that way... (hopefully)

Do you know what other language they speak?
Is it possible to have someone to translate for her?

As for the kids playing with water and accidentally getting part of her property wet .. sorry but she is being a big jerk! .. what’s the big deal with some water? it evaporates and doesn’t leave a trace!! .. smh.. but .. in order to be a better person than she is .. again .. set boundaries with the kids (as much as you can) .. maybe just tell them (as a game) that “the floor is lava” in her property , so they won’t pass and that is better to stay where you can safely supervise them.
It seems that you have your hands full and you are doing the best of your abilities to keep the party in peace. Hope things calm down and you are able to shake off that aggressive vibe with this neighbor.

Take care🤗

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Post by Cloud on Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:04 am

Hugs astraldreamer

How are things going with the neighbours?
I think the others' suggestions above are really helpful, I agree with everything Ren and Peace2 suggested

at the end of the day, there is not much you can do, when dealing with people who tend to nit-pick. I am sure that she has a dislike of cats but like you said you can't control everywhere they go. All cats which are outdoor cats will roam where they want to. I went to the woods yesterday and left my cardigan on the bench next to me, a little dog hopped up to lay on it, thinking it was put there for him. I had absolutely no problem bcause animals are intelligent but they don't know when they are doing something wrong half of the time. We can' go training cats to not go in others gardens... so whilst the cat lay on her baby's blanket I am sure they thought it looked like a nice and comfy place to rest. Nobody's fault and certainly not yours

It sounds as though she is one of those people who will take everything personally and use what they can against you ... your pets, your kids, she shouldn't have been banging on your door like that to intimidate or cause a fuss. I'm sorry.... as if you neededthat.....

How has she been lately?

Kids will be kids... like peace2all said.. it's a bit of water. Kids will be mischevious anyway, it's part of the territory of growing up.. I remember that game, knock down , where you'd go knocking on doors and run away. I'd rather have kids throw water balloons on my walls than have them do that at ungodly hours.


I hope that things are better now. As for dealing with her, I feel that your approach was right. Staying calm but obviously if she's banging on your door shouting at you, you have every right to react and tell her to get out of your garden and tone it down. Sometimes no matter how calm you are with people they will not hear you out. And I know your girl(s) have autism, honestly, if it keeps happening that you feel you are being targeted I'd get on to the housing people, let them know, and log it with 101 to get a file going for all the times she's harassing you.

Eventually, after so many logs they have to do something. Nobody should feel that they aren't safe at home, whether it's neighbours or not.

Take care for now

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Post by Button on Sun Jul 14, 2019 12:21 pm

Hope everything has settled down now astral if it was me I would still let the cat out it needs out in the open air I would report her to the animal welfare and tell them what she is doing to your cat hugs and peace xx

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Post by Button on Mon Jul 22, 2019 10:08 am

Hi astral how you doing have you resolved the neighbour situation yet xx

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Post by astraldreamer on Wed Aug 14, 2019 1:22 am

oh no since I been using topic not been getting notifications only just seen replies on this sorry. I will reply soon. I want think straight right now x

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Post by Button on Wed Aug 14, 2019 4:16 pm

Av not been getting notifications on toppic app either x

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