Next Chat Event
Need to tell this .. 5nvklj




Need to tell this .. 9tpt39
..

Need to tell this ..

Go down

Need to tell this .. Empty Need to tell this ..

Post by Peace2all on Thu Mar 07, 2019 7:05 am

I don’t really know how I feel about this or if there is really something much for anybody to respond .. I guess I just want to write it down here. ..hoping someone gives me a little feedback.

“It’s not really a love story but
a story about love”

When I was in my 20’s, a long time ago ..
I met this guy in college and we created a very strong bond, I can say we had a beautiful friendship.

I thought I was sailing that boat though until..
.. one day, and because my country was dealing with a lot of political conflicts.. We were protesting in the streets.. suddenly things turned very dramatic when another student got shot on her head .. miraculously she didn’t died.. I only knew her by her nickname.. same as mine.

My friend wasn’t at the protest with me that day .. he was traveling home on a bus. When he heard what happened he took another bus and returned right away because he thought it was me who got shot .. he travelled 24 hours that way and another 24 hours back just to realize I was totally fine .. I never knew he did that .. until someone told me.. my friend was deeply in love with me.


In my heart I thought it would be better to let him know that very unfortunately it was not mutual.. sort of giving him a real card about my feelings towards him. I thought I couldn’t pretend to love someone. That’s not healthy for either one of us.


..years later I married and moved away from the country and, years after that, I found this friend again in a Facebook page.. he told me he did several searches to try finding me in social media pages, unsuccessfully..until a friend in common posted an old picture and I saw myself there so I made a comment

.We started chatting again.
Just as old friends from college.

He mentioned one day that he visited the neighborhood I used to live and send me pictures of it..I thought that was very nice and cute of him .. he told me many things he remembers about me that I even forgot myself ..More that 20 years have passed!!
I thought then that his love actually never ended..Sad

His birthday just passed and I actually missed the day so I sent him a belated birthday message. He had about 70 other messages from family and friends on his page.. he didn’t acknowledge, give likes to anyone.. except mine which he reacted with a “I love you

One side of me can’t deny feeling very flattered but on the other side I feel bad again and flashbacks from the old times strikes me again .. We really don’t chat much.. it has been months .. the only thing that I reflect about this is that I believe I got karma for not giving him a chance.


Why I feel that? .. well .. this is when my story starts mixing/messing a little..

The love of my life (another person) is actually not the man I ended marrying:(

He lives in the country I left 15 years ago.. we still know about each other and I wish things would have worked for us .. I do believe sometime in the future it will work but that is a story for another time .. and I don’t want to extend more about that now .. this is already a long shot ..


I know since I’m married, people might think that perhaps I am a bad person for expressing love for someone else.. but to me.. it feels different .. this is a connection on another level .. I can’t take away or erase from my heart .. it’s like embedded

I believe the karma I am getting for rejecting the love of this college friend needs to leave me in order for the things I am asking the universe brings me to happen.

I do believe in these symbols and my intuition seems to start itching with this thoughts and feelings ..

Am I making any sense? Am I mixing two completely different things? Is there anything I could work mentally in order to get the spiritual alignment I need to make things to happen and bring love back to my life?

I feel unbalanced..I want these waters to calm down so I can sail my boat again ..

...I’m so bewildered confused


Thank you for reading.. I know my post sounds confusing.. in advance, your thoughts are very appreciated 💕

Peace2all













Last edited by Peace2all on Thu Mar 07, 2019 9:20 pm; edited 2 times in total
Peace2all
Peace2all
Member
Member

Female Posts : 61
Points : 270
Times User Thanked: : 12
Join date : 2019-02-18

Back to top Go down

Need to tell this .. Empty Need to tell this ..

Post by Peace2all on Thu Mar 07, 2019 5:30 pm

Peace2all
Peace2all
Member
Member

Female Posts : 61
Points : 270
Times User Thanked: : 12
Join date : 2019-02-18

Back to top Go down

Need to tell this .. Empty Re: Need to tell this ..

Post by Renaud on Fri Mar 08, 2019 6:58 pm

Intiutions get messed up when feelings and emotion interfere for me.
As far as your expression goes....and the story of karma....
See I don't know you personally but if you actually know yourself and clearly know your gut feeling never go back on your words....I suffered a lot because of it .
There was this guy who got into me like really deep , I got real strong intitution specifically telling me it won't work cause he won't accept me in society and won't fight for us....but eventually he kept chasing and I felt like a mbad stone hearted person so after 7 long years I finally accepted his love , I was sincere and told him I wasn't sure of true love but I had grown very close and affectionate towards him so no matter what I will always be there at least as a friend.....you won't believe as soon as we got into relationship ....bizzare things started happening and we didn't even last a year in a proper relationship ....then he left the city and ghosting started I kept waiting ....feeling inspired from what he went through for me....finally I manifested him into my life after 2 years of ghosting, it was very painful,....
I had lost sleep, got depressed ,a lot of life energy went into fighting the flow...only to realise it wasn't actually love , cause I was kind of abused as a companion, he use to hurt me with his behaviors and words and it took toll on my body badly , my hormones went crazy , I felt the magic wasn't there but I wasn't sure if he was sure that we shouldn't be in this or if should go for good.....so I waited for signs and took the pain to my growth , it was a very painful experience ....on the sides I was facing a lot if paranormal stuff may be due to weak life energy or aura infected
...no idea yet.....then one fine day he calls me to a restro to tell me that it won't work and he wouldn't stay in my life , cause he isn't sure if that's what he wants and needs ,that he is a changed person, but would want to be friends....(when he meant was he wanted to be friends with benefits)...that's when I fully realised I couldn't hurt someone I loved to that extent and abuse them .
And that conversation was a reaonantion of my intiutions I got when I saw him the 1st first time....
One hard lesson for me.
Even then when I was probably told by an angel I believe to cast away from him ....I asked the angel how could I be sure if I am doing the right thing may be it's a test ....so I placed a bet ....and I Lost the bet ...
You know what the bet was....
He just had to come see me at my doorstep if I meant to him....

He kept calling texting convincing ...but the we reached my doorstep till date Need to tell this .. 3278550357😂


Never regret please....that's all I would say!
I believe right things will happen at right time of you do right things .....and most of right things are only deeply concerning our personal growth .

Well the bet I placed was for a duration of 28 days and simultaneous I joined Rieki ...when I palced the bet my concern was how would I sleep without hearing him...but you won't believe it all got passed, and on 28th I received a message from him saying he came over to my place but returned from staircase....he never made it to the door.
😁....
I don't know what to make of all these coincidence ...but I know for sure you don't need to regret rejecting someone's so called love....we never know....I know as women we feel bad....but we can't be philanthropic with our body and spirit and our life ...sharing and giving into anybody ....

It has consequences...and that are deep- karmic ...I learned that later....
Now I finding ways to dissolve that karma

Sent from Topic'it App
Renaud
Renaud
Loyal Member
Loyal  Member

Posts : 379
Points : 871
Times User Thanked: : 37
Join date : 2018-08-08

Back to top Go down

Need to tell this .. Empty Re: Need to tell this ..

Post by Peace2all on Sat Mar 09, 2019 1:32 am

Your experience and reflections make a lot of sense to me, thank you Renaud for sharing your thoughts 💕

It is true that I am placing a guilty card on me for causing pain and reject the love of this person (to become a couple, I never intended to end the friendship this way)

I thought ..in part.. the consequences of that, affected my life when I finally met my other half.
My true love.

We both feel now, after so many years that our lives would have been so much happier and complete if we were together. We live far apart but we are still connected beyond the distance and circumstances..

I tried not to be delusional about it..but deep inside, call it intuition, gut feeling or stubbornness of the mind I know we are meant to be with each other. Being separate it hurts my soul in such a deep level.


My life is not miserable. I can’t say that. I have wonderful children and a good husband. But between him and me nothing seems to flows.
We vibrate in completely different levels. He says he loves me. But it doesn’t resonates on me. I do love/care about him but I’m not in love with him.
Arguing too much .. loving too little.
There is an abyss between us. Sad

If I decide to leave this marriage and “follow my dreams” I know I would lose my children .. I wouldn’t be able to march and take them with me .. my country is not next door .. they will suffer.. it will be devastating for all of us .. I don’t really want to hurt anyone. .. again, there is the picture of my college friend in disgrace after I broke his heart Sad

I know people will say that if you don’t do anything nothing will happen.
True.. I get that.

But .. the presage (feeling/hunch) I am receiving in my mind is to stay strong and be still.. let the waters to calm down....
this shall pass..
I will probably then be able to receive the blessings that I am asking for... to the universe, superior force, the angels.. the starts .. with altruism, with care for others but not forgetting about myself .. maybe then I will be able to see the path and know for sure what needs to be done.

I’m expecting that to happen even though sometimes waiting for things to rearrange and settle, it elevates my anxiety and make my hopes to vanish..
I have to work on that.. maybe try what you did (Reiki) or any other way to help my mind stay focus.

Thank you again for taking the time to read my post and for giving me your insight. I truly appreciate it! 💕

Take care!
Peace2all










Sent from Topic'it App
Peace2all
Peace2all
Member
Member

Female Posts : 61
Points : 270
Times User Thanked: : 12
Join date : 2019-02-18

Back to top Go down

Need to tell this .. Empty Re: Need to tell this ..

Post by Renaud on Sat Mar 09, 2019 3:27 am

So I feel all you need is love somewhere ...so if your own husband starts loving you , you won't be suffering ....I believe from what I read ....

So first in my opinion don't butcher yourself thinking of other men ....I am telling you, the state if mind you are in the grass is always greener of other side , people know you are vulnerable they will hunt you and you might end up in a lot more trouble.
Respect yourself women , don't feel helplessness.it gets to best of us....

So honestly how j came out of depression and depressing thought process was more of an internal project at least substantially....
Check your thoughts in check ,
Start praying ,or volunteering something , dance classes, music classes,that exposes you to magic and hope in life and helps your mind to get focused ,
Try doing certain yoga ...if you are willing I will tell you which ones....
Then if you want you may try Reiki too it's a good option, since it heals you eventually but there a little more to it
So on ...point being you need to invest in yourself keep yourself busy , and not go for escapism....
You know you can't end the marriage it will gravely affect your children, 😅 as you said.

Try working on your life energy and your internal state of mind.

Only then the next level begins ....and believe me the worst if situation brings out the best in us if we don't give up ....
This group is also a part of my that strive and I am quite happy about it .

Sent from Topic'it App
Renaud
Renaud
Loyal Member
Loyal  Member

Posts : 379
Points : 871
Times User Thanked: : 37
Join date : 2018-08-08

Back to top Go down

Need to tell this .. Empty Re: Need to tell this ..

Post by Renaud on Sat Mar 09, 2019 3:38 am

If this helps ... I will tell you a story ...my own Rieki teacher suffered an abusive marriage ....and she claims that she eventually has changed her relationship with her husband
I saw that man , now he is very gentle and polite and calm ,
But it took her perseverance to invest in herself become a part of Spiritual journey ...(Spiritual journey is the where you grow as a soul no religions I am talking of ) no offence....and she said on the side the husband changed too....

Actually in India , the way people are married were means to liberation meaning the ritual we used ....so that would tie up two people on basis of their energy to help each other ascend....that being technical prt
And you attract your own life around you ....so being in good state of mind and healing karma is a big deal blushesblushes

Karmic relations from family backgrounds of both the spouses affect their life and their children's...

I feel there is so much more you are not sure about ....I will suggest if I may ...take a leap of faith ...start working on yourself ....only then you will be more clear as to where to steer the wheels....

But whenever you learn always keep an open mind . ..always....cause people speak on their experience ...so don't raise your expectations on their experience....be more like an empty cup to learn .....with a filter 😅to help with bullshit .

And I use to watch a lot of animated cute movies ....that used to help me cry ...and went out the negative I couldn't express....a stuffed nose is always a bad company 😂🤣Blow it🤗😍
Renaud
Renaud
Loyal Member
Loyal  Member

Posts : 379
Points : 871
Times User Thanked: : 37
Join date : 2018-08-08

Back to top Go down

Need to tell this .. Empty Re: Need to tell this ..

Post by Peace2all on Sat Mar 09, 2019 6:09 am

Thanks you! ! thank you!!
I am keeping myself occupied and I do volunteer my time as well.. but yes, I can always do some more!
Perhaps the long winter, especially in my location has aggravated my blue days.. but it’s not going to last forever, I know..

We do have family plans that make us all excited... so we are counting days for that.

I am taking all the words and advices in consideration.. yes the cup needs to be filled with the good stuff so I can pour in other peoples lives as well.. at least do that in favor of my children .

I am conscious about how they perceive the energy in the house when both of us, my husband and me are having bad days. I do make efforts to keep them from feeling that.. but he is less careful about it, which maddens me ..cause it’s a double effort to turn things around.

There is more about him and me that I didn’t explain here though I do agree that the best way to make things better is to work on internal process, spiritual growth.. and answers should come..

There is always some work to do inside our minds, it seems like!!

Thanks again!!






Sent from Topic'it App
Peace2all
Peace2all
Member
Member

Female Posts : 61
Points : 270
Times User Thanked: : 12
Join date : 2019-02-18

Back to top Go down

Need to tell this .. Empty Re: Need to tell this ..

Post by Peace2all on Sat Mar 09, 2019 6:50 am

Need to tell this .. 15521110

Sent from Topic'it App
Peace2all
Peace2all
Member
Member

Female Posts : 61
Points : 270
Times User Thanked: : 12
Join date : 2019-02-18

Back to top Go down

Need to tell this .. Empty Re: Need to tell this ..

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum