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worried about 6th baby

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worried about 6th baby

Post by astraldreamer on Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:26 pm

hi im posting for my best friend kellie who needs some guidance please. she believes in spirituality.

she has just discovered she is pregnant with her 6th child, she has lost a baby before which was very difficult for her and a few of these births have been very difficult and traumatic for her.

I think she wants this baby but she has strong fears that she is going to die during the birth and also fears if she has the baby then she will not be able to cope. a few of her children have special needs.

so she is thinking that abortion would be the best option, I have tried not to give my opinion too strongly as I am against abortion but have told her she needs to have a real good think about both sides of the coin here, and asked how how she thinks she would feel after having the abortion.

at the end of the day if she has the baby, she may struggle, find it difficult etc but there is always opportunity for change and for things to turn out ok thinking positively even if at the beginning things are rocky.

but if she has the abortion this is final, permanent, nothing can ever change tht decision she has made and she will need to live with it.

I know what I would do but she is not me, I cannot tell her what to do, only she can do this for herself.

I have also advised her to tell her doctor that she is thinking of a abortion and they will point her towards counselling who will talk her through everything.

please can anyone read into this situation from a personal or spiritual point of view pls, thank you x

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Re: worried about 6th baby

Post by Cloud on Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:50 pm

hugs astral

Good question, it's really nice you're thinking of your friend..
I can see both sides of the coin as well.. to have (what will be 6 children , a new baby and older kids with special needs sounds difficult... i'm pro life too and believe every life deserves a chance , no life is a mistake, but there are some circumstances where I fully agree with abortion, though I think that the earlier the better. The tough thing is, for a mum to know what the best way forward is, they'll definitely need some counselling and fast
The shock of the pregnancy is new to her and I can understand her panicking. I've been there too in more ways than one, have dealt with an unintentional baby-loss and repeated miscariages, 2 singletons and 1 set of twins. It's terrifying as really there's so much unknown. How many weeks is she?. For me my fears went away when I had the first ultrasound, it kind of sunk in and you probably understand but there was a moment of bonding. Is she a single parent? is she living in poverty? I wonder what's scaring her aside from the obvious.. I do understand it but I do agree that things can change and the abortion is so final.

I don't judge ladies who do because many have their reasons which to them are clearly important. We need to do what we need to do but yes it sounds like it's a decision made out of fear.... and her fears could settle down if she has and feels supported by family and friends. Maybe (not sure how closeyou are) but if you remind her you will help where you can, and maybe try help her come to solutions surrounding her worries whatever they may be

Is it Marie Stopes who offer pregnancy/abortion advice in the uk?. She needs to tell her dr right away I agree, and it's probably better she sees a female one as I feel they'll be non biased and probably very understanding. Also hormones too she might be feeling hopeless/depressed/anxious due to those... I feel like in the long run, my gut tells me she will probably keep the baby.. I just have a feeling....

Spiritual viewpoint, I just believe no life is a mistake. If a baby is conceived as an ''accident'' it's not really an accident at all... what will meant to be, will be - it will find a way, souls too. We only come when it's our time to, when it's part of our destiny to reincarnate. I'd never say this to anyone considering an abortion though because it would be guilting them and well babies conceived through violence and things like that are another story. I suppose it depends on so many things but yes it's final there's no goingback

I know a few people who have had abortions. they all (5 out of 6) still regret it years on. They still cry, and hate themselves for making the decisions.. so it's important to not make any overnight, but also if she is to do it, I think it's better earlier.. less traumatic for her, and faster recovery time (pills vs a D&C ) etc etc


I'm sending healing her way. How far along is she and are her and her partner close?
if she has a partner, do you feel he may be forcing her to get one?

I know also , now, a huge problem in the UK is as from last year I think it is, if you have more than 2 children they'll no longer (the state) will no longer help support with any benefit etc. I personally think it's awful as yes, pregnancies that are unplanned do happen every day.... and some ladies feel they are forced to abort because they don't feel they'll financially cope

If she has disabled children already has she had a carers assessment? they could help

I need to run as have drs but talk soon

hugs

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Re: worried about 6th baby

Post by astraldreamer on Fri Oct 12, 2018 3:30 pm

she has a partner and a few good friends but says she is trying not to think about it as if it may just go away. shes just found out so assumingly very early days of pregnancy I think.
ive sent her your reply
thanks cloud x

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Re: worried about 6th baby

Post by Cloud on Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:41 pm

understandable hugs it wont .. I always think with any decision, we know we've made the right one when we feel at peace

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