Next Chat Event
struggling to let go of someone i love 5nvklj




struggling to let go of someone i love 9tpt39
..

struggling to let go of someone i love

Go down

struggling to let go of someone i love Empty struggling to let go of someone i love

Post by astraldreamer on Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:39 pm

I met a when I was 18, he was my first friend I made when I moved to bath, he lived in a hostel I moved in too and I felt a connection to him straight away.
It wasn't just a physical attraction but it was like I was meeting up with a very very good friend that I had met in some lifetime before. like someone I had known my whole life.

he felt the same, we both could be ourselves around each other, could talk for hours , trusted each other, made each other laugh and I fancied him like crazy.

I didn't find out til much later that he liked me too.
I was too shy to say anything and so was he.

one day I asked a friend to go and tell him that I really liked him and would he be my boyfriend lol,

my friend came back and told me that a had laughed and said that I was disgusting.

I cried for hours but didn't confront him, just stayed his friend, soon after I met my eldest daughters dad and got with him, he was cute, very confident, asked me out and so I said yes lol.

A much later told me that my friend didn't even tell him that I fancied him and wanted to be with him and so therefore he hadn't called me disgusting and that he did want to be with me too but was too shy.

said I broke his heart when I got with my daughters dad.

when he told me this my heart als broke because I never would have got with my daughters future dad if only I had known.

He soon got with someone else, stayed good friends, I let him live with me on and off when he needed somewhere and I even saved his life during one incident.

Although we stayed friends we haven't had much contact with each other since we were abut 25.

when we do, its always the same, no matter what we are going througin our lives we feel at home with each other, safe, can be our true selves and can talk about anything.
we go throw this circle of talking, that then turns into flirting, then he vanishes, but we are still friends on facebook, just know one on one chats.

a few weeks will pass and then we start the circle again.

we have been doing this for 20 years now.

I love him so much, ive told him so, he says it scares him, his last relationship wasn't a great one but he is still in love with her, but admits that he has feeings for me too.

I asked him to just tell me we would never be together so I could move on, but he wouldn't because of how he feels, he says he doesn't know what the future holds.

I know this looks like he is just leading me on but he really isn't like that, we are simply one with each other when we are together, he is like a male version of my self.

im pretty sure he is a empath too.
hes a man extremely sensitive like me, not afraid to cry, has great values and loves his family and would die for them.

but he suffers from depression and as I said he Is still in love with his ex, I accepted this and moved on, didn't think of him too much, but when my relationship ended it was him that helped me through it.

he seems to heal me with his words and warm me with his smile and its like every time we go through this circle I fall in love with him even more.

today I logged onto facebook and seen a post he had put up about still loving his ex.
I already knew this but it was like before I just pushed it aside as I was so caught up in seeing his as my twin flame who keeps running away.

althought I still think he is, today that post he put up stopped my heart beating for a few seconds, palpitations, made me go hot and feel sick.

it hurt like hell

I cried

I know only too well that you cant force love, but he admits himself that we have a very very special connection.

but I don't wanna feel that hurt I felt today again.

even though I want to be with him, I want to be able to move on and find someone else I can love.

but its like my spirit knows he is supposed to be the one for me.

its not as easy as to just cut him out of my life, as we have been friends for 20 years an d never want to lose that, we turn to only each other when we need advice or need to talk.

maybe the timing isn't right for us I don't know but I guess I just wanted advice if anyone has any.


_________________
struggling to let go of someone i love 28sqzwi
astraldreamer
astraldreamer
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

Female Zodiac : Virgo Posts : 590
Points : 1218
Times User Thanked: : 40
Join date : 2018-06-15
Location : uk

Back to top Go down

struggling to let go of someone i love Empty Re: struggling to let go of someone i love

Post by Cloud on Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:46 pm

hugs Astral

Aww.. sorry to hear that.

How long has it been since him and his ex broke up? It sounds to me like he is torn and not ready to commit again but all that means at face value is that he can't see himself with anyone right now in the long term

I don't know what to advise other than asking him if he wants to meet up

Since you are both good friends and have been in the long term there is no harm in asking if he wants to come over to eat out with you or go for coffee or to a bar or something, right?

I feel again it's tricky and maybe he's just not opening up to you as much as would be nice. He says he still loves his ex (or has feelings for her) and has you too. When was the last time you met up?
I ask because social media as you know, it's good , but at the same time it's much easier to take off with a friendship again as before, when you are in person with them. We can connect and have personal heart to hearts and so on but in person I feel he's more likely to be open to talking to you more about it and besides, even if nothing comes from it at least you two have had a good catch up


I can tell he means well as he's not been suggestive in anything short term but seems he is also looking at the long term. He must still know you love him but I wonder if he is afraid of something.

You know when you love someone so much , you are scared to lose them?
and how due to losing so many people you love, you no longer want to get too attached?
I'm going through this at the moment and I also think it sounds like he might be. it's all around fear, fear of reaching that high in your life , only for it to fizzle out and leave just as quickly as it came. That's not to say he thinks *you* will do this but I feel he just needs more trust in that you are 100% for this and not  going to up and leave. I'm guessing/assuming his ex/that relationship must have ended badly... for him to have so many  doubts and fears

I think keeping in touch is great.  Keep the contact open and keep it light hearted, like his posts, inbox something like have a good day, or something like that, and then maybe after a few weeks you could invite him for a bbq or something nice you know he will enjoy. You know him quite well as a person so you'd probably have better ideas, ie, movies or something.. what he would like. It will show him you thought of him and he'll probably be really happy you did invite. After all , after a break up like this , there is nothing better than letting your hair down and doing things with friends, those who stick by you and who know you , who you are, and love you for who you are

Friendship is the foundation and you have it, just need more time i'd say
But I feel it will go well
II don't see any specifics but I do feel he would be open to the idea of meeting up

hugs
Good luck

_________________
struggling to let go of someone i love Jl2e89
Cloud
Cloud
Global Moderator
Global Moderator

Female Zodiac : Capricorn Posts : 3761
Points : 8933
Times User Thanked: : 127
Join date : 2018-01-12

Back to top Go down

struggling to let go of someone i love Empty Re: struggling to let go of someone i love

Post by astraldreamer on Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:33 am

thanks cloud, we did meet up 2 months ago, spent a few hours in a graveyard taking pictures,he loves photography, and then just led down and chatted and laughed, it was the first time we had spoken face to face in over ten years, and it was exactly the same as when we first met for both of us.

we arranged to meet again over and over but he gets scared and cancels, hes admitted he is scared, doesn't want to get hurt, his ex has bi polor, was very controlling and he told her he was meeting me that night and she was still trying to be controlling so I think you are right in that he could be torn.

during this cycle we go through, we can spend hours messaging each other, but its usually me that scares him by telling him that I love him, but its always him that turns any conversation into a flirtatious one, and then we go back and forth flirting, plan to meet, and then I tell him something stupid about how much I love him and he vanishes.

during the period he vanishes he keeps me as a friend on facebook but ignores me lol, doesn't comment or like anything, doesn't reply if I post on his wall or inbox him,

this usually ends after about a month cus I message him and say hi, and the cycle starts again.

the last time I told him I loved him, we were meant to meet thhe very next day and he didn't turn up, 2 weeks later he sent me a text message to say that he was sorry, that its took him 2 weeks to process how what I said to him made him feel.

he said it freaked him out, said he proper freaked out and it scared him.

hes never said he loves me back but I can feel it, an see it as us empaths do, I know there is more than what he Is showing and saying but im also not pushing him into anything.

he says I am very special to him, the only person he can be his true self around, that he doesn't want to be with anyone rigt now but that I will always be more than just a friend to him.

after our last meeting he did suggest maybe meeting up, dating was his exact words but it didn't happen.

I forgot to also add that he is very shy, keeps himself to himself, and likes his own company, doesn't like crowds and avoids them so he wont go to cinema or to eat out or anything like that.

he spends every day sometimes nights walking around taking photos.

the othert thing is I mentioned I saved his life, well it was in my house many years ago that I answered my door bell and two men in balacavlas burst in and beat him to a pulp with my iron.

I stood there with my baby in my arms frozen and then when I went to run out the door with her to get help one of the men turned to me and said if u leave hes dead ill kill him.

and although I know I should have put my babies life first, cus I didn't know if they were going to attack us too, I stayed there, didn't want them to kill him, but I was right near the door ready to run if they came for us.

so I know he is anxious of actually coming to my house because of this , hospital told him if he had been hit in the head one more time he probably wouldn't have lived.

im trying to do what u suggest, I like a lot of his pictures, and comment on stuff but I have not sent him a private message, he does the same with me, so its like we are still friends but there is a distance between us.

and I don't know if that's because he knows I love him and hes not intresyed in the slightest and its annoying him, or if its cus he is just confused and torn like u say and runs to avoid us getting closer or whatever.

ive also considered it also may not have anything to do with me, it could be his depression that makes him act this way.

his ex had their children taken off of her because of her bipoloar after they spit up and behaviours and this hit him very hard .

_________________
struggling to let go of someone i love 28sqzwi
astraldreamer
astraldreamer
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

Female Zodiac : Virgo Posts : 590
Points : 1218
Times User Thanked: : 40
Join date : 2018-06-15
Location : uk

Back to top Go down

struggling to let go of someone i love Empty Re: struggling to let go of someone i love

Post by astraldreamer on Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:35 am

oh he broke up with his ex 8 years ago, he says she treated him badly, controlled him, always excused him of looking at other woman etc, they were together for a long time

_________________
struggling to let go of someone i love 28sqzwi
astraldreamer
astraldreamer
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

Female Zodiac : Virgo Posts : 590
Points : 1218
Times User Thanked: : 40
Join date : 2018-06-15
Location : uk

Back to top Go down

struggling to let go of someone i love Empty Re: struggling to let go of someone i love

Post by Purplemoon86 on Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:29 pm

Hello, not much help

but want to say i have been through something similar i met my TF years ago, i was single at the time but he was married so nothing ever came of it, we were such good friends and in the end, he cut all communication with me because he started to have feelings at this point i new i loved him, this broke my heart and even to the day i still think about him, i am happy in life but even now i still remember how he made me feel, he touched my heart like no on else ever has..

If i had been given the choice i wish i had not met him as once you meet your TF you never forget them...

I know you would like more but be happy he is still in your life in some way, i wish mine was even if it could only be as a friend,


( hugs )

Purps

x

_________________
struggling to let go of someone i love M7qps2
Purplemoon86
Purplemoon86
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

Female Zodiac : Cancer Posts : 204
Points : 756
Times User Thanked: : 14
Join date : 2018-02-20
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

struggling to let go of someone i love Empty Re: struggling to let go of someone i love

Post by astraldreamer on Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:11 pm

aww thts so sad purplemoon Sad
it hurts like mad but yes ido appreciate that I have him in my life, though at the moment he is ignoring me lol
maybe in our next lifetime we will meet them again and this time be together

_________________
struggling to let go of someone i love 28sqzwi
astraldreamer
astraldreamer
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

Female Zodiac : Virgo Posts : 590
Points : 1218
Times User Thanked: : 40
Join date : 2018-06-15
Location : uk

Back to top Go down

struggling to let go of someone i love Empty Re: struggling to let go of someone i love

Post by Purplemoon86 on Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:18 pm

astraldreamer wrote:aww thts so sad purplemoon Sad
it hurts like mad but yes ido appreciate that I have him in my life, though at the moment he is ignoring me lol
maybe in our next lifetime we will meet them again and this time be together

That made me Sad i hope so, x

_________________
struggling to let go of someone i love M7qps2
Purplemoon86
Purplemoon86
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

Female Zodiac : Cancer Posts : 204
Points : 756
Times User Thanked: : 14
Join date : 2018-02-20
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

struggling to let go of someone i love Empty Re: struggling to let go of someone i love

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum